Outta the way!
Here they come.
Philippe, 100 euros says I can lose them.
- Philippe. - You're on.
Here we go.
You're in shape. God!
Shit!
Fuck!
So you lost them?
Get out! Hands on the hood!
- Get out! - Two hundred says I get an escort.
You'll lose again.
- Two hundred, an escort! - You're on.
Let's see your hands!
Your goddamn hands!
Let me explain.
Shut your mouth and put your hands on the hood!
Hold on.
- Let go! - I said get out!
He can't get out!
He can't even open the door!
- What? - Look at the sticker!
There's a wheelchair in the trunk!
Go and check!
Take a look.
Let go of me.
Yeah.
Well?
What is this?
You think I drive that fast for the hell of it?
We're heading for the hospital.
He's having a fit, OK.
It's an emergency!
He can't move! I'm his caregiver.
We have a problem.
Look.
What do we do?
Know what? Think it over. Take your time.
Then call his kid and say you killed her dad!
In five minutes, he'll be a goner,
dead as a dodo.
So take your time.
Go on, think it over! While he croaks.
OK, get going.
- Where are you heading? - The ER.
We'll escort you, it's safer.
We're escorting them. Let's go!
It's OK, they're splitting.
This is really gross, Philippe.
Freaks me out. How do you produce this stuff?
Maybe you should take that driving test now.
Yes, but for now, "We'll escort you, it's safer."
An escort at 200 euros.
I never wager such large sums.
This calls for a change of mood.
"We'll escort you, it's safer."
Come on, I helped you out.
Philippe, the escort.
The escort, it's safer.
We'll escort you, it's safer!
Here he comes.
They're bringing a stretcher. You'll be OK?
- Yes, fine. - Good luck.
Goodbye.
What do we do now?
You let me handle it now.
Any references?
Yes, I have a DAHC,
a Diploma in Advanced Home Care.
I backed it up with training at the Bayer lnstitute in 2001.
I studied social work at school,
then did a course in social and family economics.
Actually, the thing is...
I've done more studying than working.
What is your key motivation?
Money.
The man.
I'm totally into that.
That's nice.
Helping others, I think.
Is that OK? Did I get it right?
The neighborhood.
I like crippled people,
since I was little.
Working to make the handicapped independent,
on a social level.
Sport too. You need to move.
To fit in with life.
These people can't do a thing.
I had my first professional experience...
That was Mrs. Dupont-Moretti...
A very old lady...
...really very old...
...whom I cared for until the end.
There were fun times in the geriatric unit
at Halloween and so on.
I'm also an expert with bureaucracy.
Housing grants, for instance.
I don't know. Maybe...
...you get one?
Check, Magalie, but somehow I doubt it.
- Yvan Laprade? - Yes.
Enough.
- I'm Laprade. - I'm sick of waiting.
Hello.
I need a signature.
Have a seat.
Any references?
- I have plenty. - All right.
We're listening.
Kool and the Gang, Earth, Wind & Fire.
Good references?
I don't know them. Sit down.
You know nothing about music.
I'm no ignoramus when it comes to music
even if I don't know Cruel...
- Kool and the Gang. - And you?
Do you know Chopin, Schubert or Berlioz?
Do I know Berlioz?
I bet you don't!
I'm a specialist.
Oh yeah?
Who do you know there?
Which building?
What do you mean?
Before becoming a housing project,
Berlioz was a 19th century composer, writer and critic.
Bullshit. I know who Berlioz is. Humor's like music for you.
You suck at both.
You need a signature?
Yeah, to say I applied for the job...
...but that despite my obvious qualities...
Just put the usual spiel about not being interested.
I need three refusals to get the benefit.
I see, your benefit.
Any other motivations?
Yes, plenty.
One right here.
Very motivating in fact.
OK, I'm having a blast, but what do we do?
Sign or not?
I can't sign right now.
- Why not? - Why not?
That's a bummer.
I'm already late handing it in.
That's a bummer as you say.
- Can't Ms. Motivation sign for you? - Magalie isn't authorized.
Too bad, she could have added her cell number.
Pick it up tomorrow at nine.
I'd hate to deprive you of your benefit.
I won't see you out.
No, don't get up.
I mean, stay seated.
I'll come back tomorrow.
Mina, is she here?
No, she'll be back late.
No!
Turn the tap off or I don't have any water!
Turn the tap off!
Get out of here!
I'm taking a shower!
- Leave me be! - Out!
Get them out.
Go on.
Bintou, I'm serious!
Mina!
Get them out!
Get out with your big belly.
Let go!
Get out!
Out, you lot!
Get it?
- Hey, Bintou. - Let go!
Bintou, what the hell?
Sit down, you!
- Where were you? - At school.
Where are you going?
Horse-riding.
Wise guy.
Here, it's for you.
Where were you?
On vacation.
People talk around here.
You think I'm a dumb bitch?
Six months without seeing you.
Not one phone call. Nothing!
And now you turn up with a Kinder egg?
You think your scams will pay for the rent,
for food?
You think this is a hotel?
Look at me when I talk to you!
Idiot!
There's no talking to you!
Want to talk?
I'm listening.
You know, Driss,
I've done a lot of praying for you.
But, God forgive me,
I have other children.
I still have hope for them.
I don't want you coming back here.
Just pack up your bags and get the hell out.
Is that clear?
Get out.
Get out!
That was a good one, right?
Know what? I'm going.
- It wasn't funny? - Forget it.
It wasn't funny?
- Yes? - It's for my paper.
- I was expecting you. - About...
- Come in. -...my benefit.
Tell Philippe he's here.
Right away.
Well?
No beetroot, but the radishes are nearly ready.
Good.
Hello.
Come along.
I'm warning you, he had a bad night.
Like you apparently.
His day begins at 7:00 a.m. with the nurse.
He needs two to three hours of care each morning.
Many applicants throw in the towel after a week.
We see a lot of them.
I like the decor, the music and all the rest,
but I'm not buying and I have stuff to do.
I was told to show you around.
Anyhow, it's nearly over.
To communicate, you have a baby monitor.
It's like a walkie-talkie.
Under the terms of the contract, you have your own quarters.
This is the toilet.
And you have a separate bathroom.
This way.
He's expecting you.
Just a minute.
I had your paper signed.
It's on the table over there.
So you like being assisted?
What?
You don't mind living off others' backs?
It's not a problem for you?
No. How about you?
Do you think you're capable of working? With constraints, regular hours,
responsibilities...
A sense of humor after all.
And I'm ready to try you out for a month.
You have a day to think it over.
I bet you won't last two weeks.
What?
No bone,
no muscle should be ignored. Move them all.
Keep the skin and joints in good condition.
To do that, you need to be meticulous,
and strict. All right? Is that clear?
Wake up!
You sleep at night!
I'm not asleep.
Help me.
Let's put Philippe in his chair...
...and get him to the shower.
I know...
Try it on your own. Show me.
Don't be scared. Go on.
I'm not scared.
Happy now?
Never let him go until he's strapped in.
Yes, I'm kinky that way.
No one told me.
I'm in training.
Do you want white gloves or what? Scrub away!
The shampoo's weird, it won't lather.
- How's it going? - It won't lather.
What?
I don't believe it.
That's his foot cream.
Hold on.
Don't tell me you can't read, Driss!
Sure I can, but...
You seem pretty gifted.
Usually it's one for the whole body.
This guy has 20.
I'm not spending all day here.
This one then?
The one marked shampoo.
Will you manage?
Of course he will.
My feet are beautifully coiffed.
Go and have lunch, Marcelle.
Where's the skirt?
They're support stockings. They help the blood to flow properly
so I don't faint.
I'm not doing that.
There's a problem here.
Seeing as how I won't be doing it,
we need to see if... Marcelle!
Maybe Marcelle could come back to put them on you.
She knows how to do it, being a chick and all that...
I'm just not doing it, OK.
You're better off fainting.
I mean, sometimes...
We just refuse to put them on. We're men.
No way, Marcelle!
You're good with stockings.
Only natural with that cute earring.
Can we cut the joking?
You're a natural at this.
Haven't you ever considered work...
...as a beautician?
OK, that's done.
What are the gloves for?
Let's wait a while. You're not quite ready for that yet.
No, he's not quite ready.
What do you mean, not ready for what?
- What is this? - We'll explain.
We need to talk, Marcelle! This training's not working.
Ready or not,
I'm not emptying the ass of a guy I don't know.
Or even of a guy I do know.
I don't empty anyone's ass, on principle.
Can I finish eating first?
No.
Let's just leave it at this.
I don't go for this sick stuff.
The stockings were bad enough.
But I met you part way.
Your turn. Drop the ass emptying.
- I get the message. - It's wrong.
Just drop it.
Enjoy your lunch.
Beautiful, huh?
I love it.
Don't mind me.
You're not at the movies, I'm eating here.
Hi. Where can I find a beer?
Maybe in your wig.
You took both packs?
No idea. I don't care.
Take your mop-head for a walk.
Let's go.
He's the guy my dad hired.
Oh, right.
The guy has a name.
- What? - Sorry.
- What's going on? - Nothing.
- You're sure? - Yeah.
Just massaging away.
Fucking weird.
Have you finished playing?
You can't feel a thing?
Have you gone mad?!
He's experimenting.
He can't feel a thing.
You'll burn him!
Lawyer.
That's personal. I'll read it later.
The "personal" file?
Trash.
She's not bad.
How about a "hooker" file?
Enjoy your meal.
Thank you.
Do you mind?
Sorry.
Shit, I keep forgetting.
Shit, sorry.
That feels good.
Driss, come here, please.
Can you hear me?
Come here, please.
What?
It's nearly nine. Philippe's waiting.
Nine already? This bath gel takes ages to foam.
What a pigsty.
Can you make my coffee?
The baby monitor!
Always with you!
And Nutella!
Not that jam made with weird fruit!
I'm not getting in this.
And I'm not loading you into the back like a horse.
What's this?
That one's less suitable.
Meaning?
Unfortunately, we need to be pragmatic.
Pragmatic?
Holy fuck.
Listen to that.
- It feels so good. - It's great.
This is good.
She's nervy.
Let's go!
The neighbor keeps parking there.
He thinks it's his space.
Not for much longer.
How's it going?
Am I bothering you, Blondie? Want a coffee?
Come on.
- Go on, read this! - "Keep free at all times."
Louder!
That's the way.
- Read it all. - "Reserved parking."
Get that into your thick skull and move!
Go on, Blondie, piss off!
We open Tuesday. It'll be sold by then.
Can we go?
You've been there an hour. Time to switch channels.
There's a lot of serenity in it. A certain violence too.
It's very touching.
Touching? Red splashes on white?
How much is it?
Thirty thousand euros, I think, but I'll check.
Yeah, check.
That price seems way high to me.
You can't buy this crap! It's not possible!
It is possible.
The guy wants 30 grand for a nosebleed!
Tell me, Driss,
why are people interested in art?
- It's all business, I guess. - No.
It's the trace of our passage on this earth.
Bullshit.
For 50 euros, I'll do you a trace of my passage.
I'll even add some blue!
Enough. Give me a chocolate.
No.
Give me a chocolate.
No handy, no candy.
It's a joke.
I'm kidding.
- It's a joke? - Yes.
- A joke. - It's a good one.
A very good joke.
That's the punch line, see.
But in your case...
Come on.
- It's wicked. - It's a good joke.
You got no hands, Philippe.
I'll tell it to Marge Simpson.
I was wrong about the price.
It's 41,500 euros.
I'll take it.
You will?
Hi, Philippe.
How are you doing?
You summoned me, so here I am.
I'm listening.
What's so urgent?
I didn't summon you.
You must have some idea why I'm here.
Who is this fellow?
Everyone's worried.
Yvonne tells me he's reckless, violent...
He hit a neighbor?
I don't need to tell you you have to be vigilant.
Don't let just anyone into your home,
especially not in your state.
I'm not really sure you know whom you're dealing with.
Carry on.
I called Sivot at the Justice Ministry.
The boy isn't Al Capone,
but young Driss has a record.
He just did six months for robbery.
On top of the rest...
...I'm told he's useless.
Be careful.
These street guys have no pity.
That's it exactly.
That's what I want. No pity.
He often hands me the phone because he forgets.
True, he isn't compassionate.
But he's strong, with arms and legs.
His brain works, he's healthy.
So, all the rest, given my state, as you call it,
his background and so on, I don't give a shit.
As you wish.
Will that be all?
Magalie...
- Got a minute? - Not really.
I want to show you something.
What is it?
Chill, you can always say no.
One minute then.
So?
So I have a bathtub.
That's all.
Very interesting.
- And... - We could take a bath.
There's plenty of room.
I have bath salts and foam.
Why not?
Yeah. Why not?
Go on then, get undressed.
Look at you!
The saucy kind. I like it.
OK, I'll get undressed.
What?
Where are you going?
You said yes!
Just a quick rinse!
What's with you?
I'm always tense when the mail arrives.
As Apollinaire said:
"l despair as I yearn for a letter from you..."
Slower, you're losing me.
I'm at "As Apollinaire said:"
"l despair as I yearn for a letter..."
You may not realize, but this is private.
No, I didn't realize.
Give me that.
Only if you explain.
There's nothing to explain.
He writes letters.
Letters?
Who to?
Usually to women.
Come on, who?
One in particular. Eléonore.
Who? We've never seen her.
How come?
It's an epistolary relationship.
Meaning they write to each other. They correspond solely by mail.
No need to spell it out.
The blue envelopes?
He's hot stuff.
He epistoles.
How about you?
No lover in sight?
Albert the gardener, say?
Certainly not!
I've seen the longing looks he gives you.
Am I wrong? Yes or no?
Stop it, it's ridiculous.
Has he slipped it to you?
- What? - His little cucumber.
What?
I must be dreaming.
Albert, Albert.
He will soon.
Shit!
Are you OK?
Want some music?
It's all right.
Calm down.
Take it easy.
Try to breathe slowly.
You're with me.
Take it easy.
Try to breathe slowly.
It's all right.
I need air!
Shit!
It's good to breathe.
What time is it?
I don't know. Around 4:00 a.m.
It's ages since I saw Paris by night.
What happened?
The medication has its limits.
Doctors call them phantom pains.
I feel like a frozen steak tossed onto a red-hot griddle.
I feel nothing but suffer anyway.
Surely something could help.
That could.
We're all sick for that, me worse than you probably.
I wanted to ask you... With women...
How do you manage?
You adapt.
So can you do it or not?
You may not realize,
but I feel nothing from my neck to my toes.
So you can't.
It's not that simple.
I can, but it's not my decision.
And you can find pleasure elsewhere.
Yeah?
You've no idea.
You're right. How, for example?
For example, the ears.
The ears?
The ears are a highly sensitive erogenous zone.
You get your ears licked?
I'd never have guessed.
Philippe?
- Try this. It'll help. - What is this crap?
It can't hurt you.
Drag on it.
Go on, drag on it.
Take it easy. Share it.
Again.
One more time.
That's enough for now.
Sorry, but you really get off with your ears?
If your ears are red, that means you're turned on?
Exactly.
Sometimes they're hard when I wake.
- Both of them? - Yes!
I met my wife Alice when we were students.
She was tall, very elegant,
with laughing eyes.
Is she the blond in the photos?
She's not bad.
What we had was incredible.
I hope you experience that one day.
Fuck, I loved her so much! I loved her so much.
Then she got pregnant.
Five successive miscarriages.
Then the verdict came in. An incurable, terminal illness.
We decided to adopt.
Waiter!
Excuse me!
Yes?
A tarte tatin, please.
Cooked. The chocolate cake was raw.
It was all squashy and gooey. Weird.
That's what molten cake is.
- So that's why. - Yes.
I'll have a tarte tatin anyway.
I've always loved competition,
extreme sports, speed.
Going faster, higher.
A paraglider gave me that.
I was high in the sky, looking down at things, breathing.
I was raised to think we pissed on the world.
Some water. My mouth's dry.
The joint does that.
And what else?
Makes you hungry
and chatty.
But bad weather can be fatal when paragliding.
And you flew anyway?
Yes, maybe to suffer like Alice. I knew she'd never recover.
I broke the third and fourth vertebrae. Now only fly in my mind.
When the pain eases, I have my thoughts.
My real handicap isn't being in a chair.
It's living without her.
What do the doctors say?
With the advances in medicine, they'll keep me going to 70
with massages and pick-me-ups.
It's expensive, but I'm a rich invalid.
I'd have shot myself.
That's not easy in my condition.
True.
That sucks.
What's the date today?
The eighth or the ninth.
It's official then.
What is?
You've won your bet.
Your trial period's over.
I'm hired then?
Yes, you're hired.
Can I count on you now?
- Yes. - Good.
Start by giving my Fabergé egg back.
Alice gave me one each year.
I have 25, one for each year we were together.
I cherish it.
I don't know why you... Wasn't me.
What did you lose again?
Mina!
- What's up? - Get in.
Buckle up.
How's it going?
How's school?
Why don't you text me back?
I was busy.
Let's hear it. Who called?
A cop, to talk to Mom. I put on a deep voice
and said we'd go.
Found my egg?
Have you found it?
Screw your stone egg. I haven't found it.
What did you say?
What could I say?
I only had 30 grams on me.
For that you get a spell in custody, then it's bye-bye.
Let's get a kebab.
I'm not getting in that!
Let go of me.
Where are you going?
Who's driving you?
Get lost!
It's not your business.
Piss off!
Fuck!
"Her shining eyes are made of charming minerals
and in this strange, symbolic world..."
"And in this strange...
...symbolic...
...world..."
Fucking boring!
"...where the inviolate angel and ancient sphinx..."
Is that with an "i" or a "y"?
This is killing my mind.
"Sphinx" is with an "i."
Why bother with this crap?
Sphinxes, daisies, angels...
You'd go for this stuff?
True, one could be more direct.
"And ancient sphinx..." Go on.
What's she look like?
I don't know. That's not what matters.
It's intellectual and emotional, not physical.
I want a mind-to-mind relationship.
If she's a troll, it'll be mind-to-troll!
Very subtle. Really.
What can I say?
Bravo.
How long's it been going on?
Please.
Six months.
Six months?
And you've never seen her?
Maybe she's fat and ugly. Or handicapped.
At the end of the poem put "How's your weight?"
Thank you very much for your sound advice, Driss.
Let's carry on. Where was l?
A sphinx was eating daisies with an angel,
then running and doing stuff.
Let me see...
"ln this strange, symbolic world..."
Call her!
"...where the inviolate angel and ancient sphinx..."
Call her, OK!
I can get more across with the written word, OK?
He's incredible.
I'm going to find her number. This is stressing me out.
Dunkirk. That's bad.
Put that down.
No beauty queens there.
Only trolls.
Put that down right now.
Her number's here.
That means she wants you to call!
Put it down, please!
She wrote her number here.
That means: "Call me, I'll lick your ear."
What's he doing? Don't call her.
Enough poetry after six months.
He's totally crazy!
I won't speak to her.
I bet she has an accent. They talk weird up there.
Hang up!
"l want my Philippe."
She's gonna get him.
The voice sounds OK.
Improvise, talk about the daisies...
Eléonore? It's Philippe.
I'm calling because I really wanted to hear the sound of your voice
and with that first "hello,"
- I'm fulfilled. - I'll put her on.
Too wordy. Try simpler sentences.
Eléonore, it's Philippe.
Philippe?
I was writing you a letter and...
...it just hit me, "Why don't I call her?"
Ask her weight!
- I'm sorry? - No, nothing.
"I'm in mourning,
I weep, I'm afraid.
Lord, fresh air..."
Yes, "The Foolish Virgin." You're unbeatable.
I love Rimbaud too.
Sorry, I was here first.
Eléonore, I'm so happy.
What a chatterbox!
There's no stopping you now.
Take care.
Let's all take care, let's all lick our ears.
Excellent.
Well?
Good news and not so good news.
The good news?
Fifty-three kilos.
Fifty-three kilos, that's good.
Unless she's one meter tall.
The bad news is, she wants a photo.
- So? - Very funny.
Your tickets, please.
Good evening.
Right here.
- OK. - Have a good evening.
If you want us, we won't move from there.
Especially him.
What do you think women want?
I don't know.
Beauty, charm, elegance...
Bullshit! They want dough and security.
Just ask him.
And you have what it takes.
I'm naïve.
I hope to charm with more than just my bank account.
After six months reading your lame poems, she's hot for you.
She's an original all right. The chair won't bother her.
That's true.
Up north, guys drink and beat women.
She'll be safe with you.
Bastard.
Pragmatic, right?